The best football film ever made

I went to the cinema this week. I waited in the queue as the man in front of me struggled to pick a film. He said to the assistant

“I want to see that British horror film….the scary one…it’s got good reviews…the name is on the tip of my tongue….oh yes…can I see the black Harry Potter film please?”

I assume he meant “The Women in Black” starring Daniel “Harry Potter” Radcliffe. Although I would pay to see a superfly Harry Potter starring Shaft.

 I picked the 4D cinema experience for my film which is a new system on trial. The 4th dimension is physical so whilst you watch the film the seat shakes in time to the action. If you have ever watched  a movie on a plane whilst it experienced turbulence then you will understand what its like. I spent the whole of the film expecting to crash. I was so scared I can’t even remember what film I watched and thats the beauty of it. The more dimensions a film has the less dimensions its characters have. The characters were more wooden than Pinocchio.

So lets cut to the chase….The greatest (football) film you have never seen is “Big Fan” starring Patton Oswalt. Patton who? you say. Patton Oswalt has headlined comedy clubs all over the United States. He has his own standup specials on Comedy Central and HBO. He was chosen as Entertainment Weekly’s comedian of the year in 2002. He’s been in some of the best sitcoms of recent years like Seinfield, Reno 911 and Community.

Patton plays a hardcore New York Giants football fan who struggles to deal with the consequences when he is beaten up by his favorite player. It deals with issues that any Soccer fan has. The nature of obsession, the lure of football phone-in shows and the rivalry that fans have of another team. The film contains no footage of American football. It could easily be about Celtic v Rangers or Liverpool v Man utd.

What would you do if you favorite player beat you up the night before the derby? Would you report it to the police and make him miss the game or would you keep quiet so he can play?

The film has no 3D. No 4D. It just has an interesting character in a good story.


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